if you REALLY knew me...

you'd know I love the rain.
you'd know I wish I could live somewhere where it rained all the time.
you'd know my only motivation anymore is to keep my parents happy.
you'd know I don't even know what priorities are anymore.
you'd know I hate change.
you'd know I want to change, but am too scared.
you'd know I'm scared of a lot of things.
you'd know I never cry in front of my family.
you'd know I actually do have a personality.
you'd know I used to do something with my life.
you'd know I am capable of having friends.
you'd know a completely different side of me, that actually expresses myself.
you'd know I would rather do math problems than think about my real problems.
you'd know I am terrified to grow up.
you'd know I'm terrified of my own house.
you'd know I want to learn guitar, but I'm too lazy.
you'd know I am too lazy for most things.
you'd know my family is my life.
you'd know I am smart, people just don't know it, cause I don't show it.
you'd know I love puppies, but hate taking care of them.
you'd know when I like a song, I play it thousands of times in a row, 'til I get obsessed with another one.
you'd know I've asked for a little brother every Christmas for all the years I can remember.
you'd know I am scared to have kids 'cause I don't want them to turn out like me.
you'd know I can't talk in front of people.
you'd know there are very few things I like about myself.
you'd know I struggle with this class 'cause it actually challenges me.