you'd know I love the rain.
you'd know I wish I could live somewhere where it rained all the time.
you'd know my only motivation anymore is to keep my parents happy.
you'd know I don't even know what priorities are anymore.
you'd know I hate change.
you'd know I want to change, but am too scared.
you'd know I'm scared of a lot of things.
you'd know I never cry in front of my family.
you'd know I actually do have a personality.
you'd know I used to do something with my life.
you'd know I am capable of having friends.
you'd know a completely different side of me, that actually expresses myself.
you'd know I would rather do math problems than think about my real problems.
you'd know I am terrified to grow up.
you'd know I'm terrified of my own house.
you'd know I want to learn guitar, but I'm too lazy.
you'd know I am too lazy for most things.
you'd know my family is my life.
you'd know I am smart, people just don't know it, cause I don't show it.
you'd know I love puppies, but hate taking care of them.
you'd know when I like a song, I play it thousands of times in a row, 'til I get obsessed with another one.
you'd know I've asked for a little brother every Christmas for all the years I can remember.
you'd know I am scared to have kids 'cause I don't want them to turn out like me.
you'd know I can't talk in front of people.
you'd know there are very few things I like about myself.
you'd know I struggle with this class 'cause it actually challenges me.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
drawing a total blank...
I hate trying to come pu with things to write about.
I know it should be easy, but for me it's not.
I'm not a creative writer so this class is frickin' hard.
I liked it and all, and hoped maybe I could get better, but....
NOPE!
Sorry this post sucked, and every other one, but it's pretty hard.
Anyways...
THANKS!
I know it should be easy, but for me it's not.
I'm not a creative writer so this class is frickin' hard.
I liked it and all, and hoped maybe I could get better, but....
NOPE!
Sorry this post sucked, and every other one, but it's pretty hard.
Anyways...
THANKS!
Mom...
Monday, May 14, 2012
Family
I don't know what I'd do without my family.
We are all crazy and I love it.
One of my parents in completely laid back, while the other keeps us structured.
They love eachother, although none of us kids see how they ever matched up in the first place.
Speaking of the kids, none of us are alike, but it seems we are best friends.
Crazy, out of control, dominant sister. Never can please her, but always can hear her.
Quiet, opinionated brother, does what he wants, but doesn't draw attention to it.
And me, in the middle of the two. Quiet, yet opinionated anywhere outside of my house.
Crazy and out of control when I'm around these people. People may not know the other side of me, but I'm ok with it. Cause I know when I show my true colors to my family, they will always be here for me.
We are all crazy and I love it.
One of my parents in completely laid back, while the other keeps us structured.
They love eachother, although none of us kids see how they ever matched up in the first place.
Speaking of the kids, none of us are alike, but it seems we are best friends.
Crazy, out of control, dominant sister. Never can please her, but always can hear her.
Quiet, opinionated brother, does what he wants, but doesn't draw attention to it.
And me, in the middle of the two. Quiet, yet opinionated anywhere outside of my house.
Crazy and out of control when I'm around these people. People may not know the other side of me, but I'm ok with it. Cause I know when I show my true colors to my family, they will always be here for me.
Ordinary World
Journey back to Pride Rock
Meet Jim.
Jim's an ordinary guy. He wakes up, gets ready, reads the paper and feeds the dog.
He catches the subway by 7:05, goes to work, 8-4.
He makes it home by 5 to eat the dinner Lisa has on the table.
He works in the garage like men do, then plays with the kids for a while.
Comes in for a shower, and gets ready for bed.
One particular Tuesday however, the subway is late.
He checks his watch to see if he's just early, 7:05.
But as he looks closer at his watch, he sees the impossible.
A reflection of his father stares back at him from the watch.
He quickly turns around to find him, and sees him staring from the stairs.
He does a double take, and knows what he must do..
What does Jim must do?
Why is seeing his father "the impossible"?
Does he catch the subway?
Meet Jim.
Jim's an ordinary guy. He wakes up, gets ready, reads the paper and feeds the dog.
He catches the subway by 7:05, goes to work, 8-4.
He makes it home by 5 to eat the dinner Lisa has on the table.
He works in the garage like men do, then plays with the kids for a while.
Comes in for a shower, and gets ready for bed.
One particular Tuesday however, the subway is late.
He checks his watch to see if he's just early, 7:05.
But as he looks closer at his watch, he sees the impossible.
A reflection of his father stares back at him from the watch.
He quickly turns around to find him, and sees him staring from the stairs.
He does a double take, and knows what he must do..
What does Jim must do?
Why is seeing his father "the impossible"?
Does he catch the subway?
Dialogue...
Him: "I'm sorry." -blank expression.
Her: "For what?" -still smiling.
Him: "I shouldn't have done that." -still blank.
Her: "...done what?" -smile fading.
Him: "Kissed you." -looking into her eyes.
Her: -blank stare.
Him: "It's not fair." -looking down.
Her: "What?" -tearing up.
Him: "I know you know about her." -walks away. for good.
Her: "For what?" -still smiling.
Him: "I shouldn't have done that." -still blank.
Her: "...done what?" -smile fading.
Him: "Kissed you." -looking into her eyes.
Her: -blank stare.
Him: "It's not fair." -looking down.
Her: "What?" -tearing up.
Him: "I know you know about her." -walks away. for good.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
The crappy things in life...
Getting a nice tan, and having it peel off a week later.
Shaving my legs.
Vacuuming.
Going to use a coupon only to be rejected by the expiration date.
Not having enough cash to pay cause of rejected coupon.
Having my credit card declined.
Sending a mean text to a person, about that person.
Finishing my business...no toilet paper.
Pickles.
Throwing up my favorite food, and never being able to eat it again.
When the lock on my bathroom stall is broken.
Waking up in the morning.
Smudging my freshly painted nails.
Crying babies.
Mustard.
Rich boys who are cheap.
Mashed Potatoes.
Liars.
The veggies in moms pasta salad.
Kidnapper vans.
Red.
Getting ditched by my "friends".
Applebees.
Snow.
Valentines Day
Egg Nog.
Sharks.
Changing the radio station and hearing the end notes of my favorite song.
Lending out a good movie and never getting it back.
Wingers.
St. Patricks Day
Doing Dishes.
Spiders.
To be continued...
Shaving my legs.
Vacuuming.
Going to use a coupon only to be rejected by the expiration date.
Not having enough cash to pay cause of rejected coupon.
Having my credit card declined.
Sending a mean text to a person, about that person.
Finishing my business...no toilet paper.
Pickles.
Throwing up my favorite food, and never being able to eat it again.
When the lock on my bathroom stall is broken.
Waking up in the morning.
Smudging my freshly painted nails.
Crying babies.
Mustard.
Rich boys who are cheap.
Mashed Potatoes.
Liars.
The veggies in moms pasta salad.
Kidnapper vans.
Red.
Getting ditched by my "friends".
Applebees.
Snow.
Valentines Day
Egg Nog.
Sharks.
Changing the radio station and hearing the end notes of my favorite song.
Lending out a good movie and never getting it back.
Wingers.
St. Patricks Day
Doing Dishes.
Spiders.
To be continued...
My Favorite Movie...
I don't really know what my favorite movie is..
But I recently went and saw Titanic in 3D and it was soo good!
That show is amazing anyways, and then in 3D it just blew my mind.
You feel like you are really there, falling in love with Jack Dawson slash sexy Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's like the cutest movie in the world.
Usually it's cute to watch a guy change for a girl since that's like a girls dream,
so it's super cute that she completely changes -or would have, had he lived- for him, so they could be together.
And the fact that their love stayed strong through such a horrible time.
I feel like most the time, hard times really try love.
But not a love like theirs I guess.
It is just such a good show, and 3D just adds that little something extra.
But I recently went and saw Titanic in 3D and it was soo good!
That show is amazing anyways, and then in 3D it just blew my mind.
You feel like you are really there, falling in love with Jack Dawson slash sexy Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's like the cutest movie in the world.
Usually it's cute to watch a guy change for a girl since that's like a girls dream,
so it's super cute that she completely changes -or would have, had he lived- for him, so they could be together.
And the fact that their love stayed strong through such a horrible time.
I feel like most the time, hard times really try love.
But not a love like theirs I guess.
It is just such a good show, and 3D just adds that little something extra.
My Traumatic Experience..
So...I'm driving down the road...
and my great-granmma spots a deer.
So we pull the car over to look at it, cause gramma is fascinated
We are all just staring at it when *SPLAT*
the deer gets hit by a car and lands on our windshield.
Not a good time.
and my great-granmma spots a deer.
So we pull the car over to look at it, cause gramma is fascinated
We are all just staring at it when *SPLAT*
the deer gets hit by a car and lands on our windshield.
Not a good time.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
My Favorite Things
Waking up and seeing I still have time to sleep in.
Wrapping up in a big blanket on a cold day.
Yellow.
Going boating with my family.
Laughing so hard I cry.
Chilis.
Getting a text that makes me smile.
Watching chick flicks all day.
Hot Chocolate.
Finally having it warm enough to wear shorts.
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
Summer.
Blasting music in the car, with the windows down.
Finding money in the pocket of my jeans.
Playing volleyball at the park.
Finding out the shirt i've wanted is finally on sale.
Getting hugged from behind.
Rain.
A text from someone i've been missing.
4th of July.
Turtles.
Ryan Reynolds
Kate Hudson.
Fridays.
Jumping in freshly dryed laundry.
Driving around, just talking.
Sliding Rock.
Walking passed someone that smells good.
Finally finishing a good book.
Cuddling.
Seeing smart cars driving down the road.
Playing with my nephew.
Sleeping.
To be continued...
Wrapping up in a big blanket on a cold day.
Yellow.
Going boating with my family.
Laughing so hard I cry.
Chilis.
Getting a text that makes me smile.
Watching chick flicks all day.
Hot Chocolate.
Finally having it warm enough to wear shorts.
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
Summer.
Blasting music in the car, with the windows down.
Finding money in the pocket of my jeans.
Playing volleyball at the park.
Finding out the shirt i've wanted is finally on sale.
Getting hugged from behind.
Rain.
A text from someone i've been missing.
4th of July.
Turtles.
Ryan Reynolds
Kate Hudson.
Fridays.
Jumping in freshly dryed laundry.
Driving around, just talking.
Sliding Rock.
Walking passed someone that smells good.
Finally finishing a good book.
Cuddling.
Seeing smart cars driving down the road.
Playing with my nephew.
Sleeping.
To be continued...
P.S. I'm Jealous
I know ya probably think I chose this poem 'cause it's way short, but I actually really like it.
P.S. -Jewel
I think that is completely true. I don't know how this qualifies as a poem or anything, or how anything really qualifies as one, but I really like this one.
I think the best poems are the honest ones, 'cause I think more people [myself] can relate to it. So a poem about the type of poems I like, is good. Because it is honest!
P.S. -Jewel
I think that is completely true. I don't know how this qualifies as a poem or anything, or how anything really qualifies as one, but I really like this one.
I think the best poems are the honest ones, 'cause I think more people [myself] can relate to it. So a poem about the type of poems I like, is good. Because it is honest!
Stolen Lines...
Now and then I think of when we were together.
Look for the girl with the broken smile.
Dealing with a heart that I didn't break.
Tell her “I apologize, it happened over time.”
“Life makes love look hard.”
“We'll change the pace and we'll just go slow.”
“How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?”
“This is real, so take a chance.
Let me put something in your life.”
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.
“I want you to know, you're far from the usual.”
It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny.
“You and the music were the only things that I commit to.
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you.”
We have so much to feel good about.
Now and then I think of when we were together.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Sleep...
Why can't I sleep?
I feel like I have relatively busy days,
full of school, and work, and chores, and sports.
I feel like I should be tired.
Sometimes I just want to dream.
Fall asleep so I can dream some crazy dream.
The kind I wake up hoping is real.
The kind I wish I could fall back asleep to finish.
I have dreams.
I day dreams like crazy.
Why can't I sleep?
I dream in the day.
When I look at people I look up to.
When I see someone I aspire to be like.
My mind goes 100 miles an hour.
I feel exhausted dreaming of ways to accomplish what I want.
Why can't I sleep?
My dreams at night might be crazier than when I'm awake.
But in the end...
When I wake up...
I know I can't do anything about my sleep dreams.
No matter how real they feel or how real I want them.
I can only make my day dreams become real.
Become mine.
I guess I don't mind that I can't sleep.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Gotta Love Boys...
My baby, he don't talk sweet
He ain't got much to say
But he loves me, loves me, loves me
I know that he loves me anyway
And maybe he don't dress fine
But i don't really mind
'cuz every time he pulls me near
I just wanna cheer:
(chorus)
Let's hear it for the boy
Oh, let's give the boy a hand
Let's hear it for my baby
You know you gotta understand
Maybe he's no Romeo
But he's my loving one man show
Let's hear it for the boy!
My baby may not be rich
He's waching every dime
But he loves me loves me loves me
And we always have a real good time
And maybe he sings off key
That's all right by me
But what he does, he does so well
Makes me wanna yell:
(chorus)
whoa whoa ohh ohh ohh
lets hear it for the boy......
by Deniece Williams
He ain't got much to say
But he loves me, loves me, loves me
I know that he loves me anyway
And maybe he don't dress fine
But i don't really mind
'cuz every time he pulls me near
I just wanna cheer:
(chorus)
Let's hear it for the boy
Oh, let's give the boy a hand
Let's hear it for my baby
You know you gotta understand
Maybe he's no Romeo
But he's my loving one man show
Let's hear it for the boy!
My baby may not be rich
He's waching every dime
But he loves me loves me loves me
And we always have a real good time
And maybe he sings off key
That's all right by me
But what he does, he does so well
Makes me wanna yell:
(chorus)
whoa whoa ohh ohh ohh
lets hear it for the boy......
by Deniece Williams
COURAGE
When I think of courage I think of the kids that have the confidence to say I don't know. Many people act like they know everything. They act like the are one thing, but in reality, they aren't really sure if they are that one thing. I see those in the hallways around me with fake smiles, fake swaggers, and fake dreams. Where are all the people of courage?
Why is everyone always looking to fit in somewhere instead of standing out?
I know I don't have the courage that I'm talking about. I find myself telling people I hate, I love them. and people I love, I hate them.
I'm not someone of courage.
I've thought a lot about of what it takes to become someone of courage. It takes a lot of hard honesty. Saying what you mean and what is true rather than trying to impress people. In an honest and open way. Let's all be people of courage and start saying what we mean and being what we REALLY are.
I'm Stuck
Stuck in a world where everything has gone wrong.
Nothing is going my way anymore
New twists and turns have been made on that road I thought I had in control
Nothing is the same
Friends and family say that they notice a change in me
What change? I cannot say
Whatever happened to everyone rooting and cheering me on?
Now everyone has turned around and talked about me saying mean stuff
Now I’m desperately searching for a way out of this world.
But the thing is I end running in circles
I had the map of a perfect world.
But someone stole it now
I want my life back and my map too.
But I can’t get it back now...
by Nicole Reynoso
Nothing is going my way anymore
New twists and turns have been made on that road I thought I had in control
Nothing is the same
Friends and family say that they notice a change in me
What change? I cannot say
Whatever happened to everyone rooting and cheering me on?
Now everyone has turned around and talked about me saying mean stuff
Now I’m desperately searching for a way out of this world.
But the thing is I end running in circles
I had the map of a perfect world.
But someone stole it now
I want my life back and my map too.
But I can’t get it back now...
by Nicole Reynoso
Life and Death...
Wake up, get ready.
Put my scrubs on, put my hair up.
Head off to work.
Clock in.
Head off to get Virginia for breakfast.
I wonder what she's thinking.
They all eat slowly and talk about better days.
They have so much experience, sometimes I envy it.
Some good, some bad, experience none-the-less.
Life was simple back then, life is simple now.
Helping hands at your command.
But there is so much sorrow in her eyes.
I take her back to her room, look at pictures of her youth.
Blonde turned gray, but still beautiful curly locks around a wrinkled face.
As I put her down for her nap,
I ask if she's scared.
"If I've lived my life right, I will be smiling while everyone else is crying."
she says with a smile on her face.
It brings tears to my eyes.....
Put my scrubs on, put my hair up.
Head off to work.
Clock in.
Head off to get Virginia for breakfast.
I wonder what she's thinking.
They all eat slowly and talk about better days.
They have so much experience, sometimes I envy it.
Some good, some bad, experience none-the-less.
Life was simple back then, life is simple now.
Helping hands at your command.
But there is so much sorrow in her eyes.
I take her back to her room, look at pictures of her youth.
Blonde turned gray, but still beautiful curly locks around a wrinkled face.
As I put her down for her nap,
I ask if she's scared.
"If I've lived my life right, I will be smiling while everyone else is crying."
she says with a smile on her face.
It brings tears to my eyes.....
SQUIRREL!!!!
He is a good and smart master, and he made me this collar so that I may talk.
SQUIRREL!!
My Master is good and smart.
This picture is just the cutest in the world!! Thought I'd share..
Fears...
I fear people.
But, I can't afford to fear.
Fearing is pointless.
What fear isn't irrational?
We are all going to die at some point anyways right?
Therefore, every fear is quite irrational, 'cause in a matter of years, nothing will matter anyways.
Especially if you're fearing the end of the world this December! Stop your worrying, and start living your life.
However, what if your fear is of dying? or life after death?
Well, then I guess you're screwed.
I don't fear death. I don't know what will happen after this, but I feel like anything besides hell would be better.
So right now, my fears are small..
Spiders,
Kidnapper Vans,
Public Speaking,
Sharks,
Public Bathrooms,
...my own bathroom.
(I mean, you can't tell me you don't check to make sure there is no one behind the shower curtain)
But, I can't afford to fear.
Fearing is pointless.
What fear isn't irrational?
We are all going to die at some point anyways right?
Therefore, every fear is quite irrational, 'cause in a matter of years, nothing will matter anyways.
Especially if you're fearing the end of the world this December! Stop your worrying, and start living your life.
However, what if your fear is of dying? or life after death?
Well, then I guess you're screwed.
I don't fear death. I don't know what will happen after this, but I feel like anything besides hell would be better.
So right now, my fears are small..
Spiders,
Kidnapper Vans,
Public Speaking,
Sharks,
Public Bathrooms,
...my own bathroom.
(I mean, you can't tell me you don't check to make sure there is no one behind the shower curtain)
Basketball...
When I think of basketball, I think of gay men.
Not that I don't enjoy watching the sport itself...
It's just...the butt slapping that goes on, really gets to me.
To me there just seems to be some sort of inuendo in the words "Pick and roll" or "Give and Go".
I mean who is the one who rolls and what is he picking?
And really...boys just because your coach calls it "boxing out" doesn't make any different than "dropping it like it's hot."
Not that I don't enjoy watching the sport itself...
It's just...the butt slapping that goes on, really gets to me.
To me there just seems to be some sort of inuendo in the words "Pick and roll" or "Give and Go".
I mean who is the one who rolls and what is he picking?
And really...boys just because your coach calls it "boxing out" doesn't make any different than "dropping it like it's hot."
I'm thinking...
I'm thinking about....Well....I'm thinking that boys....think TOO MUCH. That's right. Too much. Somewhere down the road I guess it became cool for boys to be cool and act stupid. But any girl who's had a boy like them knows...they never stop thinking...it's all a charade! All they do is think. They think about where I am, what I'm doing, how I'm doing and where I'm going. And they do it in the dumbest ways. "Hey...so what's going on?" Translation: "Um, I've been playing video games and thinking about you for quite a while and just want to make sure your not making out with Tanner or Joshua or Steven." I dont' know who ever came up with the idea that boys don't think about girls constantly and that girls are the ones that always beat around the bush and don't say what they really mean. But whoever thought of that was probably a dude, because it's totally not true. My response: " I'm not doing anything, just sitting here watching tv." His thoughts: "Well maybe when she says she isn't doing anything what she really means is she is making out with Sam...while watching tv."
Guys...please start acting like the confident people you pretend to be with your sticks up your butts. Stop listening to MTV and start listening to your dad's. I don't want to date anyone on a music video!
We wanna date who you REALLY are.
Cause to be honest...we think about you the same way.
Guys...please start acting like the confident people you pretend to be with your sticks up your butts. Stop listening to MTV and start listening to your dad's. I don't want to date anyone on a music video!
We wanna date who you REALLY are.
Cause to be honest...we think about you the same way.
The American Way
I've heard most of my life about the American way of life and the American Dream. But what does that even mean anymore? I know once it used to mean that if we worked hard enough, we could do or be anyone we wanted to be. I have been taught that the American way of life is to be honest and hard working all through your life, supporting your family. But as I look at the world around me, I don't recognize the America I was taught. It's like everyone wants everything for nothing. It's no longer the American Dream, but the American Expectation. An expectation without any prerequisite. I find it hard to believe that that type of America is what is giong to help us improve who we are. I feel like everyone in the news or politics is always blaming someone else for their problems. I wish sometimes that someone would just come out and say that it was their fault, that they are to blame. Or someone who receives help from the government to actually pay it back. I hope that I can teach my children of the America that used to be and hope that they somehow contribute to the change from the American Expectation back to the American Dream.
Love Is...
The one thing I know about love is that it is always changing. When I was three and I had my first crush on "Timmy" or "Johnny" love was something much different than it is now. It definitely was much easier and simpler back then. Maybe it was more pure. I look at my parents love and its not really all that complicated to me. They know each other, they support each other, and they are there for each other. There is no need for them to get jealous or upset. They know that the love they have will grow each day beccause they are unconditionally faithful to each other.
Sometimes I wonder if I even know what love is. And I doubt many do until they really find the one that they are willing to share their sorrows and joys together. Are you willing to take part in someone else's failure, or give someone the same credit for your success? Right now, I know I'm not. But as I grow and as I find out truly what I want and who I am, I'm sure I'll be in a position to truly love someone. But right now, it's more of a dream...something I can't really get my arms around. But that will change one day as my experiences shape me and mold me into someone capable of loving and worthy of being...loved.
Sometimes I wonder if I even know what love is. And I doubt many do until they really find the one that they are willing to share their sorrows and joys together. Are you willing to take part in someone else's failure, or give someone the same credit for your success? Right now, I know I'm not. But as I grow and as I find out truly what I want and who I am, I'm sure I'll be in a position to truly love someone. But right now, it's more of a dream...something I can't really get my arms around. But that will change one day as my experiences shape me and mold me into someone capable of loving and worthy of being...loved.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Intro
Well, I am a little late with this, I guess technology isn't my strong suit. I'm not positive what I'm even supposed to write in this post either...so...here goes nothing...
The reason I chose the name Ms. Nezbit, is cause it is a pretty entertaining to a simple minded person such as myself, which could be embarrassing, but oh well.
And also because Ms. Nezbit in Toy Story is just Buzz's friend because he's all depressed that he isn't a real space ranger.
Sometimes I feel like I'm that friend for people too.
I am a go-to friend when people aren't having a good day.
Some people might think that's embarrassing or depressing for me..
But the truth is, I love it.
I love that people trust me enough with their problems, even tho I don't have a frickin' sweet name like Ms. Nezbit;)
...so...I guess that's me:)
The reason I chose the name Ms. Nezbit, is cause it is a pretty entertaining to a simple minded person such as myself, which could be embarrassing, but oh well.
And also because Ms. Nezbit in Toy Story is just Buzz's friend because he's all depressed that he isn't a real space ranger.
Sometimes I feel like I'm that friend for people too.
I am a go-to friend when people aren't having a good day.
Some people might think that's embarrassing or depressing for me..
But the truth is, I love it.
I love that people trust me enough with their problems, even tho I don't have a frickin' sweet name like Ms. Nezbit;)
...so...I guess that's me:)
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